EVICTION NOTICE

Dear [INSERT TENANT NAME],

You are receiving this eviction notice due to rent past due, totaling $[INSERT AMOUNT HERE]. If you do not pay the outstanding amount within the next 14 days, you will be required to vacate the premises immediately or an eviction action will be filed against you. 

It is not the fault of [INSERT LANDLORD’S NAME] that there is pressure to collect in these uncommon times, but rather the fault of common time “growth” and “production” that forces him to do this. You lost your job weeks ago, and have mouths to feed, and he has been understanding. But he owes his soul to the Company Store, and not much can be done about that. 

In the event of an eviction action, [INSERT LANDLORD’S NAME] may file legal proceedings, for which you will be required to cover any fees or associated costs, and a judgment may be ruled against you. Nevermind how often your kids help half-blind Miguel cheat at dominoes so they can split the earnings for ice cream, or how many batches of chocolate chip cookies you made for the block party last year, or how fiercely you defended Alexa when she got kicked out of her dead-beat boyfriend’s apartment (he beat her, and anyways your couch is always open). 

In the case of failure of payment, you are required to pack up your belongings and leave immediately. Your belongings include, but are not limited to: 

  • The dust bunnies behind your father’s records you never play; 

  • Nana’s flowery china that only got used once after Jamie’s christening; 

  • Stacks of your favorite Christmas cards that you still use to decorate the house; 

  • The only storybook that ever worked at bedtime; 

  • A tear-stained letter promising that he will be better, though you know that isn’t true; 

  • Hundreds of lost LEGO pieces; 

  • The hat you picked up at a Georgia truck stop on your last road trip; 

  • The stuffed animal that fell behind the couch three years ago, and cost three nights of sleep; 

  • The good spices that make your home smell like being At Home.

Partial payment will be refused. Only your whole self will be accepted. 

Regards, 

___________________

Kat Buckingham

Poetry, ProtestGuest UserKat BuckinghamComment